Itsy Bisty Teenie Weenie Marquez Buggered Off, The Meanie

"Choose bikes. Choose MotoGP. Choose World Superbikes. Choose British Superbikes. Choose fucking speedway, choose Moto3, Moto2, World Supersport. Choose Cadwell Park, Oulton Park, or Brands Hatch. Choose camping in shit British weather. Choose a hotel down the road. Choose your paddock friends. Choose warm multi-layered clothing and a fancy cool box. Choose a massive caravan on hire purchase in a range of fucking colours. Choose no DIY and not wondering who the fuck you are on Sunday morning, waiting for Warm Up. Choose sitting on that banking watching watching endless Free Practice sessions just to get your bike fix, stuffing fucking picnic food into your mouth. Choose coming away on Sunday at the end of it all, all excited and happy as you head home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up brats you spawned to replace yourselves as race fans. Choose your future. Choose bikes... But why would I want to do a thing like that? I chose to choose bikes. I didn't choose somethin' else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you've got bikes?"
by Dave Neal, aged 45 and a bit.

All the hype, all the social media arguments that STILL bubble on preceded what turned out to be the most boring MotoGP race of the season so far - yes, I know we're only three rounds in but still... Even the undoubted three place grid demotion for Marc Marquez couldn't really add the necessary excitement to proceedings such was his advantage around the red, white and blue-bedecked dust bowl just outside Austin. "Not-a-maniac-just-a caravan" Iannone had one big attempt to upset the rhythm of the pesky Spaniard in the opening lap but, yeah, unsurprisingly it didn't quite work. Credit to Iannone though, he's really stepped it up since the Lorenzo-to-Suzuki rumours began. Can't think why...

The 'Horsepower Rodeo' was little more than a glorified procession for the majestic Marc Marquez and his Repsol Honda around CotA, and really, was it ever in doubt?! Not really. 11 races unbeaten on American soil before Sunday, turning left really suits the mercurial Spaniard. Texas was a glimpse at how the start to the season could possibly have panned out but for the Ducati-favouring Qatar circuit and the shenanigans in Argentina. 

MotoGP in 2018 so far appears to have flattered to deceive; other rider's misfortunes have opened up the championship battle for early flyaway honours before the 'regular' part of the season kicks off at Jerez next time out. But really, who is going to stop Marquez other than Marc himself because, to be fair to the fella, he's doing his best to give the rest a bit of a chance with time and grid penalties in successive races! The reigning World Champion has the bit between his teeth, determined to dominate the title race and looking at his form over the last two races, it has been a shot across the bows for anyone with even half an eye on a championship challenge.

I know it's a long 19-race season and we're only three rounds in but let's be honest (this isn't a #93 love-in, by the way), while there have been glimpses shown by the chasing pack that they're not THAT far away - well, apart from Jorge Lorenzo obviously, he's frikkin' MILES away - is it enough? The Yamahas of both Rossi and Viñales seem to have finally exorcised the demons of 2017 with a welcome return to the podium over the weekend for the precocious talent of the #25. Mav was as exuberant as I've seen him in a long time after the race and it's he who I think will take the fight to #93 as the season unfolds, not discounting Rossi completely or title challenger of last year, Dovi, I just think that a happy Maverick Viñales is a very fast Maverick Viñales and who's due more MotoGP glory after the that epic start to 2017 turned in to utter tripe. I feel he will have the measure of his illustrious team mate at most rounds. I'm probably wrong but we'll see. 

The Great MotoGP Seat Swap is proving a real conundrum this season. After the relatively average silly season of last year the line up for 2019 is anyone's guess... well, apart from Movistar Yamaha, anyway! The second seat at Repsol Honda is the main focus for most learned observers (so, not me - at least the 'learned' bit anyway!) and with it being reported that Johann Zarco signed for for the Factory KTM squad for 2019/2020 at CotA, that's one less rider to fill any gap that may arise with the HRC squad. There is too much to go in to in this episode of my ramblings, the permutations are long and protracted but nevertheless really, really interesting but they're for another day.

Speaking of really, really interesting - World Superbikes was exactly that this weekend. From a scintillating Qualifying session to a hard-fought race one and a runaway winner (but not the one you'd expect!) in race two with a mighty battle raging behind him, it was another good weekend for the seemingly rejuvenated series. A glorious first Pole Position for Alex Lowes to then becoming the unluckiest man in Holland (after poor Werner from Weisbaden who got his weiner wedged in his zip while window shopping in the 'Dam). It was a bitter pill to swallow for my fellow Yellowbelly (a what?! This...) but he'll bounce back. Just as in MotoGP, the Yamahas are really coming strong in WorldSBK - gotta call it that, they get a bit sniffy if you call it WSB) partly in thanks to the rule changes but I suspect mainly to the revised electronics package on the R1. One conundrum though, Tom Sykes can lead a race from the front in imperious style but appears to struggle when it's time to battle? Good to see a different Kawasaki on the top step, however briefly it'll be!

The Bennett's British Superbike Championship - it still feels strange calling it that - continued it's rich vein of form at Brands Hatch a week or so ago. Shakey Byrne was really, really happy and Leon Haslam equally so as they took the spoils around the Indy circuit as tyre issues once again became a real bugbear for some, despite measures being introduced to retain a level playing field in terms of black round rubber. Hopefully the issues will be solved before Oulton Park in a couple of weeks time (there's an official test there on Thursday) and that the weather can be either one thing or the other in that leafy, affluent corner of Cheshire. Bright and sunny preferably! Even as a proud Lincolnshireman, Oulton Park is an equal favourite circuit of mine next to our own Cadwell Park and all I ask for is a dry, warmish (I burn easily; Snetterton seems to prove that every chuffing year!) weekend for some mega racing in every class as the series heads towards the Roads break.

Thanks for reading.

Back To The Future, It Seems...

Here I am! Back once again like some renegade master. (Google it, if you're not sure). 

And while we're on a musical theme, to quote DJ Jazzy Jeff & the Fresh Prince after Sunday evening, 'Here We Go Again'!

I won't delve deeply into the shenanigans of last Sunday as the more qualified luminaries of the MotoGP Press Room have covered them far more eloquently and with better knowledge here, here, here and here (courtesy of Neil Morrison, David Emmett, Manuel Pecino and Mat Oxley). Four exceptional pieces of writing, all united in their voices about arguably the most exciting and interesting MotoGP race in a number of seasons.

The biggest disappointment about last Sunday for me was the fact that the divisions set in 2015 and the weakly engineered patch-up of relations over the passage of time since have been widened exponentially by one errant 'pass' and subsequent actions from pit box to press scrum. The whys and wherefores from a racing and paddock perspective have been well covered by the links above, however it's the cursed platform of Social Media, that ever-growing harbor of the perpetually offended and occasional hard of thinking, that once again holds court to those spouting vitriol and responding with derision to those who offer a different opinion. Back to 2015 we go and the mildly dwindling catcalling and booing will now continue with renewed vigour. Also, I'd expect the 'ambient' microphones to be turned down in Texas should Marquez stand on the podium at CotA...can't have the watching masses hear that, now can we?

The not-so-small matter of a British winner and that same Briton now leading the MotoGP Standings, somewhat lost in the fire, fury and fallout because of the wayward actions of others. Bit disappointing, really.

Neither rider has apologised and I suspect neither rider will. No doubt Marc Marquez was over-aggressive when he didn't need to be and was completely at fault, however the contact wasn't deliberate. Valentino Rossi's comments post-race however were unnecessary, inflammatory and absolutely deliberate in their delivery. Rossi is a master of the mental game but Marquez is in his head and any opportunity that presents itself to discredit the Spaniard he'll take with both hands and quite possibly to the detriment of the sport unless the powers that be intervene behind closed doors and not with a bullshit staged-managed PR-friendly handshake that neither rider is remotely interested in. The CotA Press Conference will certainly be interesting and undoubtedly with a better attendance than the Argentinian post-race version!

On a more positive outlook, I'm reliably informed Jorge Lorenzo did finish the race. Bless...

The Bennett's British Superbike Championship reconvenes this weekend for Round 2 around the Brands Hatch Indy circuit. The opening races at a sodden, cold and thoughtfully revamped Donington Park brought a fresh new look to the title race in the form of the gangly, bespectacled Brad Ray. The Buildbase Suzuki man took a double win ahead of a strong, predominantly fully fit field over Easter Weekend, brilliantly carving his name in to the list of title contenders for 2018 with all the style and maturity of a seasoned pro.

While pre-season favourites Leon Haslam, Josh Brookes and Shane 'really, really' Byrne (just a bit of fun, listen to his interviews) had their issues over the weekend, it was BSB's own member of the Hair Bear Bunch that made those brave souls who risked hypothermia while entrenched under the approach path of East Midlands Airport sit up and take notice of his intentions for this season - wait, that's an unfair statement, UK race fans are, in the main, anoraks of the finest order and were already acutely aware of the talents of Kent's latest BSB race winner. Can he sustain it? No idea! It's a long season and only two races old but with a small matter of 10 podium credits already in the bag for September, there's no doubt he's made a perfect start.

Make no mistake, Byrne, Haslam, Brookes, Ellison et al will soon find their stride despite the next round being on such a unique circuit. Luke Mossey took the double there last season and will be chomping at the bit to repeat that feat while fending off the marauding pack. The Yamaha R1 works around the Indy layout, James Ellison proved that by taking pole position last year so you can count him and Josh Brookes and with a reported new swing arm for Shakey Byrne's Ducati Panigale, it won't be any surprise to see him really, really pushing for his first win of 2018 (see what I did there?). Throw in both the strong-starting Honda riders along with Ray's team-mate Cooper, a former podium man around there, the Tyco BMWs, Glenn Irwin and an ever-determined Peter Hickman, to name but a few, and we have a Battle Royale on our hands! Just let it be dry. On track, at least!