Itsy Bisty Teenie Weenie Marquez Buggered Off, The Meanie

"Choose bikes. Choose MotoGP. Choose World Superbikes. Choose British Superbikes. Choose fucking speedway, choose Moto3, Moto2, World Supersport. Choose Cadwell Park, Oulton Park, or Brands Hatch. Choose camping in shit British weather. Choose a hotel down the road. Choose your paddock friends. Choose warm multi-layered clothing and a fancy cool box. Choose a massive caravan on hire purchase in a range of fucking colours. Choose no DIY and not wondering who the fuck you are on Sunday morning, waiting for Warm Up. Choose sitting on that banking watching watching endless Free Practice sessions just to get your bike fix, stuffing fucking picnic food into your mouth. Choose coming away on Sunday at the end of it all, all excited and happy as you head home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up brats you spawned to replace yourselves as race fans. Choose your future. Choose bikes... But why would I want to do a thing like that? I chose to choose bikes. I didn't choose somethin' else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you've got bikes?"
by Dave Neal, aged 45 and a bit.

All the hype, all the social media arguments that STILL bubble on preceded what turned out to be the most boring MotoGP race of the season so far - yes, I know we're only three rounds in but still... Even the undoubted three place grid demotion for Marc Marquez couldn't really add the necessary excitement to proceedings such was his advantage around the red, white and blue-bedecked dust bowl just outside Austin. "Not-a-maniac-just-a caravan" Iannone had one big attempt to upset the rhythm of the pesky Spaniard in the opening lap but, yeah, unsurprisingly it didn't quite work. Credit to Iannone though, he's really stepped it up since the Lorenzo-to-Suzuki rumours began. Can't think why...

The 'Horsepower Rodeo' was little more than a glorified procession for the majestic Marc Marquez and his Repsol Honda around CotA, and really, was it ever in doubt?! Not really. 11 races unbeaten on American soil before Sunday, turning left really suits the mercurial Spaniard. Texas was a glimpse at how the start to the season could possibly have panned out but for the Ducati-favouring Qatar circuit and the shenanigans in Argentina. 

MotoGP in 2018 so far appears to have flattered to deceive; other rider's misfortunes have opened up the championship battle for early flyaway honours before the 'regular' part of the season kicks off at Jerez next time out. But really, who is going to stop Marquez other than Marc himself because, to be fair to the fella, he's doing his best to give the rest a bit of a chance with time and grid penalties in successive races! The reigning World Champion has the bit between his teeth, determined to dominate the title race and looking at his form over the last two races, it has been a shot across the bows for anyone with even half an eye on a championship challenge.

I know it's a long 19-race season and we're only three rounds in but let's be honest (this isn't a #93 love-in, by the way), while there have been glimpses shown by the chasing pack that they're not THAT far away - well, apart from Jorge Lorenzo obviously, he's frikkin' MILES away - is it enough? The Yamahas of both Rossi and Viñales seem to have finally exorcised the demons of 2017 with a welcome return to the podium over the weekend for the precocious talent of the #25. Mav was as exuberant as I've seen him in a long time after the race and it's he who I think will take the fight to #93 as the season unfolds, not discounting Rossi completely or title challenger of last year, Dovi, I just think that a happy Maverick Viñales is a very fast Maverick Viñales and who's due more MotoGP glory after the that epic start to 2017 turned in to utter tripe. I feel he will have the measure of his illustrious team mate at most rounds. I'm probably wrong but we'll see. 

The Great MotoGP Seat Swap is proving a real conundrum this season. After the relatively average silly season of last year the line up for 2019 is anyone's guess... well, apart from Movistar Yamaha, anyway! The second seat at Repsol Honda is the main focus for most learned observers (so, not me - at least the 'learned' bit anyway!) and with it being reported that Johann Zarco signed for for the Factory KTM squad for 2019/2020 at CotA, that's one less rider to fill any gap that may arise with the HRC squad. There is too much to go in to in this episode of my ramblings, the permutations are long and protracted but nevertheless really, really interesting but they're for another day.

Speaking of really, really interesting - World Superbikes was exactly that this weekend. From a scintillating Qualifying session to a hard-fought race one and a runaway winner (but not the one you'd expect!) in race two with a mighty battle raging behind him, it was another good weekend for the seemingly rejuvenated series. A glorious first Pole Position for Alex Lowes to then becoming the unluckiest man in Holland (after poor Werner from Weisbaden who got his weiner wedged in his zip while window shopping in the 'Dam). It was a bitter pill to swallow for my fellow Yellowbelly (a what?! This...) but he'll bounce back. Just as in MotoGP, the Yamahas are really coming strong in WorldSBK - gotta call it that, they get a bit sniffy if you call it WSB) partly in thanks to the rule changes but I suspect mainly to the revised electronics package on the R1. One conundrum though, Tom Sykes can lead a race from the front in imperious style but appears to struggle when it's time to battle? Good to see a different Kawasaki on the top step, however briefly it'll be!

The Bennett's British Superbike Championship - it still feels strange calling it that - continued it's rich vein of form at Brands Hatch a week or so ago. Shakey Byrne was really, really happy and Leon Haslam equally so as they took the spoils around the Indy circuit as tyre issues once again became a real bugbear for some, despite measures being introduced to retain a level playing field in terms of black round rubber. Hopefully the issues will be solved before Oulton Park in a couple of weeks time (there's an official test there on Thursday) and that the weather can be either one thing or the other in that leafy, affluent corner of Cheshire. Bright and sunny preferably! Even as a proud Lincolnshireman, Oulton Park is an equal favourite circuit of mine next to our own Cadwell Park and all I ask for is a dry, warmish (I burn easily; Snetterton seems to prove that every chuffing year!) weekend for some mega racing in every class as the series heads towards the Roads break.

Thanks for reading.

Back To The Future, It Seems...

Here I am! Back once again like some renegade master. (Google it, if you're not sure). 

And while we're on a musical theme, to quote DJ Jazzy Jeff & the Fresh Prince after Sunday evening, 'Here We Go Again'!

I won't delve deeply into the shenanigans of last Sunday as the more qualified luminaries of the MotoGP Press Room have covered them far more eloquently and with better knowledge here, here, here and here (courtesy of Neil Morrison, David Emmett, Manuel Pecino and Mat Oxley). Four exceptional pieces of writing, all united in their voices about arguably the most exciting and interesting MotoGP race in a number of seasons.

The biggest disappointment about last Sunday for me was the fact that the divisions set in 2015 and the weakly engineered patch-up of relations over the passage of time since have been widened exponentially by one errant 'pass' and subsequent actions from pit box to press scrum. The whys and wherefores from a racing and paddock perspective have been well covered by the links above, however it's the cursed platform of Social Media, that ever-growing harbor of the perpetually offended and occasional hard of thinking, that once again holds court to those spouting vitriol and responding with derision to those who offer a different opinion. Back to 2015 we go and the mildly dwindling catcalling and booing will now continue with renewed vigour. Also, I'd expect the 'ambient' microphones to be turned down in Texas should Marquez stand on the podium at CotA...can't have the watching masses hear that, now can we?

The not-so-small matter of a British winner and that same Briton now leading the MotoGP Standings, somewhat lost in the fire, fury and fallout because of the wayward actions of others. Bit disappointing, really.

Neither rider has apologised and I suspect neither rider will. No doubt Marc Marquez was over-aggressive when he didn't need to be and was completely at fault, however the contact wasn't deliberate. Valentino Rossi's comments post-race however were unnecessary, inflammatory and absolutely deliberate in their delivery. Rossi is a master of the mental game but Marquez is in his head and any opportunity that presents itself to discredit the Spaniard he'll take with both hands and quite possibly to the detriment of the sport unless the powers that be intervene behind closed doors and not with a bullshit staged-managed PR-friendly handshake that neither rider is remotely interested in. The CotA Press Conference will certainly be interesting and undoubtedly with a better attendance than the Argentinian post-race version!

On a more positive outlook, I'm reliably informed Jorge Lorenzo did finish the race. Bless...

The Bennett's British Superbike Championship reconvenes this weekend for Round 2 around the Brands Hatch Indy circuit. The opening races at a sodden, cold and thoughtfully revamped Donington Park brought a fresh new look to the title race in the form of the gangly, bespectacled Brad Ray. The Buildbase Suzuki man took a double win ahead of a strong, predominantly fully fit field over Easter Weekend, brilliantly carving his name in to the list of title contenders for 2018 with all the style and maturity of a seasoned pro.

While pre-season favourites Leon Haslam, Josh Brookes and Shane 'really, really' Byrne (just a bit of fun, listen to his interviews) had their issues over the weekend, it was BSB's own member of the Hair Bear Bunch that made those brave souls who risked hypothermia while entrenched under the approach path of East Midlands Airport sit up and take notice of his intentions for this season - wait, that's an unfair statement, UK race fans are, in the main, anoraks of the finest order and were already acutely aware of the talents of Kent's latest BSB race winner. Can he sustain it? No idea! It's a long season and only two races old but with a small matter of 10 podium credits already in the bag for September, there's no doubt he's made a perfect start.

Make no mistake, Byrne, Haslam, Brookes, Ellison et al will soon find their stride despite the next round being on such a unique circuit. Luke Mossey took the double there last season and will be chomping at the bit to repeat that feat while fending off the marauding pack. The Yamaha R1 works around the Indy layout, James Ellison proved that by taking pole position last year so you can count him and Josh Brookes and with a reported new swing arm for Shakey Byrne's Ducati Panigale, it won't be any surprise to see him really, really pushing for his first win of 2018 (see what I did there?). Throw in both the strong-starting Honda riders along with Ray's team-mate Cooper, a former podium man around there, the Tyco BMWs, Glenn Irwin and an ever-determined Peter Hickman, to name but a few, and we have a Battle Royale on our hands! Just let it be dry. On track, at least! 

Goodbye 2012, Hello 2013! Testing Times Ahead...

Soon comes around doesn't it? The 2012 season has drawn to a close, all the bikes are off to Shows around the world, riders are all on holiday or rallying or whatever they choose to do and Alex Briggs has hung his pass on the back of the door with the other 19 he's collected... THAT'S when I know it's all over...It was a season that, in places, lacked excitement and few meaningful on-track battles at the front, with Brno and Silverstone the notable exceptions in a difficult season.

Things at Valencia for the final GP could've been so different in the MotoGP class and really they should have been but for two episodes of misfortune, Jorge at Assen and Dani at Misano which in turn would maybe have lead to a different podium at Phillip Island at the penultimate round, where win or bust for Pedrosa was the order of the day.

It was Lorenzos early season form that helped him secure the title, every season is a marathon not a sprint but in 2012 it was Yamaha who got the head start in to that marathon while HRC were still tying their laces. Yamaha were hurting from losing their crown to Casey Stoner at the end of 2011 and came out swinging, Honda had made errors with the new bike that both riders were critical of, although I guess one of the riders was just moaning for no reason... However the Yamaha looked to be on rails and the  metronomic rhythm and blistering pace of Lorenzo was no match for his biggest rivals and the season looked to be a foregone conclusion as far in to the championship as Silverstone.

But Honda fixed the RCV213V a little and the tide turned...

Dani Pedrosa found some self-belief, a consistent but somewhat lack-lustre start to the season saw the diddy Spaniard consistently finish top four and remain fully fit. His first victory of the season at the German GP at Sachsenring saw the beginning of a sequence that, had Honda produced THAT bike for Qatar would have seen a whole different light shed on the 2012 season.

Sachsenring was almost the beginning of the end of Casey Stoners title charge, a fighting second at Silverstone followed by a win at Assen showed he had the desire to defend his crown, even though at that point he was all for retirement from the sport, a distant eighth at Mugello made many ask questions of Caseys commitment before a dominant win at Laguna (the race noted for its ONE pass) saw a brief upturn in fortune but then came Indianapolis qualifying, and we all know what happened there...

Caseys injury at Indy saw a fire lit under Pedrosa, after spending the whole of 2011 in the dark shadow of his imperious team-mate, he looked a different rider. While Stoner struggled round the Brickyard (struggled as in finished fourth, 30 secs ahead of Valentino Rossi) with an injury that curtailed his season, Dani, in true Spanish style, took the bull by the horns (you see what I did there? Always thinking...) and embarked on a remarkable string of results which Lorenzo had no answer to, regardless of how hard he tried. You could sense the tension in the Yamaha camp as Dani was on a run of form that matched Lorenzo's early season stats, at Phillip Island though the story was to end prematurely.

I know that every season can be looked at in hindsight with ifs, buts and maybes but really, IF after qualifying on pole for the San Marino GP at Misano, the chain of events that followed hadn't happened therefore making Dani over-ride too early at Phillip Island and IF Jorge hadn't have been skittled by Bautista at Assen or dropped it at Valencia...well  the championship would have looked the same...

Jorge was going to win at Assen, of that I have no doubt. Dani was going to win at Misano, again of that I have no doubt - such is the season we've just had - so taking that in to account, with the Phillip Island result staying as per qualifying leaving Dani in third, which was also more than likely and Jorge staying on to finish second at Valencia, then Dani Pedrosa still would not have been 2012 World Champion. Jorge would have still taken the crown 390 to 369. Even though both riders shared an outstanding run of results, it was Pedrosa's early season form over the first six races with three 3rds and a 4th that ultimately cost him the title compared to Lorenzo's staggering 1st/2nd consistency throughout the year.

But, back to reality, as it was Dani had to ride hard, fast and early at Phillip Island to stand any chance of clawing the defecit back on Jorge, and in Stoners back yard it was, ironically, the tallest of orders for the shortest of riders... On that day nobody, and I mean N.O.B.O.D.Y, was going to beat Stoner on his final appearance in front of his adoring crowd and it was the simplest mistake that handed Jorge Lorenzo his second world crown. A crown won the hard way, from the front and without the 'ah, but' stigma of injury to his closest contenders.

Dani was back to dominant form at Valencia where interference from Mother Nature saw the most exciting race of the season unfold. Starting from Pit Lane after a last minute tyre change saw Dani chase down race leader Lorenzo and win from the very back of the pack. Sadly an uncharacteristic lapse of concentration saw Jorge end the season in the gravel, and with it the chance of taking the record for most podium appearances in a season, after a mis-guided attempt to pass James Ellison, who rode a fantastic last race to finish a deserved ninth. Shock of the day was a CRT machine leading for two laps, a mix of youthful exuberance and nationalistic pride helping Aleix Espagaro to his short burst in the limelight before normal service was resumed.

Maybe Dani felt a little karma at this point after his Phillip Island off, over-excitement putting paid to a points haul there and the same for Lorenzo at Valencia. Either way it didn't prevent him from hammering home his seventh win of the season and taking the 'prize' of Most Wins in 2012. He'll carry that forward in to 2013, whereas Jorge showed us that he still has, albeit deep-rooted, that impetuousness that flared so often in the junior classes with his haste to get around James Ellison but his consistency is nothing short of phenomenal, and if Dani starts '13 the way he ended '12, then it's going to be an amazing season.

Testing for 2013 was held in difficult conditions over the Tuesday and Wednesday  following the  GP with Valentino Rossi's long-awaited return to Yamaha the focal point of most peoples attention. The keener eyes of the paddock were waiting for the young pretender to take his place at the top table. Enter Marc Marquez....erm...but not until the Thursday and, sadly by that point, Yamaha had de-camped to Aragon.

This is the point where my limited vocabulary runs out of superlatives, his performance in testing was nothing short of spectacular. Whereas rookies before him had had two full days and a 100+ laps to get within 2 seconds of the fastest time of the test Marquez required half a day, 28 laps in total, to get to within 1 second of Dani Pedrosa's best time. I said it last time, this kid is special, very special. He may well visit the Clinica Mobile on a regular basis as he searches for the limit on a 1000cc Prototype, just as Jorge did in his maiden season on the 800. But believe me, he's going to win races next season. Dani, Jorge, Marc, Cal, Stefan all fighting it out to be on that podium...oh and Valentino too. Bring on Sepang!

David Emmett at Motomatters.com sums the testing and rookie debut up far better than I right here and if you haven't already, then read it - it's an education in to the future of MotoGP and that future IS Marc Marquez.

Final word, as I said earlier, goes to @guyhanderson 'What if...'

Casey Stoner retiring at the age of 27 is nothing if not remarkable.  And he neatly steps away from the circus as a two-time world champion to enjoy fishing and his marriage and daughter as well as some V8 car racing it seems.  It must take a lot of determination to get to the top and even more to walk away from it all when riding the crest of the biggest wave in bike racing.  Its almost been universally accepted in the racing circus that Stoner has done what a lot wish they could do; that is separate the mind-blowing act of racing from reality.  Its not that important to Stoner; it might be to armchair experts and 99% of the other riders, but to him?  “Pfft…!” as he might say.

But what if he hadn’t?  What if he had stayed at Honda next year? He was possibly the number 1 in the team as the reigning World Champion at the time of joining and recognised by all as being the fastest on the RCV213, although Pedrosa’s transformation into a tougher, faster rider this year has been not much short of brilliant.

Stoner staying would have caused HRC a mighty headache.  Remember the 3 man team last year with Stoner, Pedrosa and Dovizioso?  As rich as Honda are they only wanted a 2-man team, and only ran a three man team because Dovizioso (foolishly?) exercised his rights in his contract that said if he was third the season before he would be retained.  But Stoner left Ducati and Honda wanted him. 

So to 2012 and there was one thing that was 100% cast-iron certain; Honda wanted to keep Marquez in the family.  Marquez is Spanish, but don’t read too much into that – they’d have wanted him if he had been British and that fast!  Repsol have no problem with Marquez, after all he’s already riding a bike sponsored by them; a perfect marketing tool for Repsol and the other sponsors.  There was no way Honda were going to let him go to Yamaha.  Can you imagine Lorenzo and Marquez in a team together?  What a prospect; the current World Champion and almost certainly a future WC.  Now Rossi is good and alongside Lorenzo, Yamaha have a great team, but Lorenzo and Marquez? Phew.  Anyway dream on; its not happened - yet. You almost get the feeling Honda paid Yamaha to take Rossi, so they couldn’t have Marquez.  Don’t ya?

So if Stoner hadn’t have announced his retirement; Stoner, Pedrosa and Marquez in one team?  I think not.  Marquez to LCR to replace Bradl who is rookie of the season would have been a tough call.  So I guess Marquez to Gresini might have been the only way, but those guys are the only team to run Showa suspenders still.  The rest of Honda went to Ohlïns (after Yamaha sold them) because basically they make better suspenders.  And as you can tell everybody wants Ohlins.  I guess there could have been some technical and political manoeuvring to give Marquez a full-on full-fat factory bike at Gresini, and he may have brought some headline sponsors with him, but at the same time I doubt Repsol would have been happy.  Or Pedrosa out of Honda and off to Yamaha with Alberto Puig?  Blimey – now there’s a salivating thought!  Puig is pretty much a Honda man, and I doubt he’d hold the same sway at Yamaha as he does at Honda.  Alternatively, Pedrosa to Ducati, but Dani is much shrewder than that – he’s seen the metaphorical car crash that has been happening at Ducati for the past 2 years.  Personally I would have liked to have seen Pedrosa at Yamaha, but you have to admire his loyalty staying at Honda ever since he stepped up to the main class, despite all the speculation. 

At the end of the day, as much as Casey Stoner retiring might be a big disappointment to 99.9% of race fans, it sure as hell helped sort out the remaining riders’ team places.

Takes a special kind of talent to get 'pfft...!' in to a piece doesn't it...

Thanks for reading.